So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
