No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
