So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
