I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
