i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
