i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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