Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
