You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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