If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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