And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
