TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have fence marks all over my body
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
