so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
