Just fell off a train. Bad.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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