Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
please come you make the beer taste better
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize