his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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