Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
