Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
