i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
