she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
