I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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