I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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