How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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