Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
