U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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