He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
