Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
