Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
