i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
