Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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