hell yes lets make some ravioli
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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