Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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