dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
