"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
