Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
