I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
