She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize