i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize