their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
