your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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