Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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