I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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