Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
