i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
