It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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