.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The beer is more important than you right now.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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