just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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