somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
