On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
