i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
