3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
