at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
