I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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