Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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