i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
