it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
