Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
