Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize