he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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