Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
