you would pick up someone in the library
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
