you guys were way drunker than both of me
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize