idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
