We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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