Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
