just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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